Fired

I’ve been pretty radio silent on this. But I think I’m ready to talk about it now without getting too angry.

Caution: Sarcasm ahead. (If you don’t know that by now, you shouldn’t be reading this)

It’s a really surreal feeling, getting fired.

How are you supposed to move on, when you aren’t sure why? How are future employers going to look at you now that you’ve been fired? What if they ask you about it? What are you supposed to say? Deep. Breath. Breathe. Ok, I’m good. I’m fine. We’re all fine here, how are you?

My sick twisted brain immediately thought of this while I was actually getting fired: 

Except, Yzma was crazy and had a secret lab. Man, I wish I had a secret lab.

But enough of that

I allowed myself two days of mourning. After that, get over it. There is life to live and it does not include sulking over a job that was unfulfilling both spiritually and mentally.

I still have trouble comprehending how I worked in an office for the last 2.4 years. It’s like a rat maze in there. It felt like we were part of some kind of science experiment. Like, how many days can a person say inside, staring at a computer screen, before they go postal? How many times will you staple paper packets together until you start stapling yourself just to feel alive? Fortunately, I don’t have to find out.

What I learned the most about working in an office, is that I hated working in an office.  There are forms after forms after forms. And then, there were more forms. I guess you would say we were in the business of killing trees. It’s nice outside? Too bad, there are forms to be filled out! Working 40 hours a week, regardless of whether or not there were things for you to do? Horse hockey.

There were two things I liked, working in an office: the friends I made, and the steady paycheck

Now that I am unemployed, for the first time since I was seventeen, I’m  not sure where my next paycheck will come from. But I do know that there is no point in worrying about it. Worrying solves nothing. It does no good to your mind or body to worry or stress. It happens though, I come from a long line of worriers. Fortunately, I also come from a long line of badasses.

The people in my life who love and care about me, haven’t been asking me questions like “What are you going to do?”, or  “Aren’t you concerned?”. They’re saying things like “It’s going to work out”, and “good riddance”.

I think the line people tend to feed you that  “God never gives you anything you can’t handle” is a load of crap. Because God knows the desires of your heart. And he knows how to get you there. Even if you don’t.  The path isn’t straight, or without it’s obstacles. But the problems that come before you, aren’t always because God has something he wants you to do. Christians forget that our battle is not against flesh and blood. What I do know, is that even though I don’t have a steady income anymore, I do have this freakish sense of peace. And even thought I’ve cried a few more times than I’d care to admit over the past week, and I’ve had anxiety, loads of anxiety, my soul is peaceful.

Bad things happen to good people. But good things happen to good people too.

I’ll leave you with the immortal words of Dr. Ian Malcolm: “Life finds a way”

-C

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About blondehairbrowndog

C is a recent graduate of Michigan State University (Go Green!) with a bachelors degree in English. She currently resides in the Mitten state with her Mister, three dogs, and one and a half cats. She enjoys large cups of coffee, running, and long walks in the woods.
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