So like. Guys.
And I’m not normally tired. Usually I’m good. But I’m at that weird point where the exhaustion just hits you. Physically and emotionally, I’m just about spent. I wasn’t completely sure why, but then I thought about what my week typically looks like. And it’s hard to find balance. I havent worked on any of my projects for a month. A. Month. No wonder I’ve felt off-balanced and weird.
I helped write this grant so the high school I work at could do Hairspray. And it’s just going to be a great production. And I helped put everybody together, and helped find a director, organized auditions, and I’m at rehearsals once a week. And answering questions about it. A lot of questions.
And soccer season just started. And I’m coaching a team of high school girls. And it’s great, I love soccer. I love it because it’s so different from what I normally do, that it helps my brain work out other stuff. It also keeps me very busy, and I feel like I’m home long enough to eat dinner, work out, and go to bed. And do it all over again. I leave my house at 6:30 in the morning, and get back, if I’m lucky, and 5:30pm. Unless I have to get groceries. Or if I have to coach later. Or if we have a game. Sheesh.
I’m struggling to find a balance. I think part of my issue (and there is a list of them), is that it’s still really friggin cold in Michigan. We’re into second winter instead of spring, and I’m not down with it. So someone please find the on switch for the sun, k?
Did I mention I also have a “real” job? Where I do paperwork and answer phones. But also act as a mentor, candy-dealer, bandaid supplier, confidant, and cheerleader. All these hats are clashing with my outfits.
I feel like a waiter at one of those pifty-poofty restaurants, with all the people demanding their food, but the other waiters have called in sick, so it’s only me, so I have to put on roller skates to try and serve everyone. But I keep falling on my butt, there’s spinach in my teeth, and someone just knocked over a bottle of scotch. And also there’s someone narrating my failure up on a stage, slam poetry style. Probably Ryan Reynolds. Maybe Melissa McCarthy.
There are a lot of people who say they’re tired. And I really that it’s a really <expletive> part of American culture. IF YOU AREN’T TIRED YOU AREN’T LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE.
Why are we so tired?
Why do we put up with being so <expletive> tired?
I like working hard. I love being busy. If I’m not busy, I get into trouble and spend too much money on Amazon. But, I’m busy on my own terms. I don’t have to do all these extracurriculars, but I do. I work hard. And when someone who doesn’t work as hard as me tells me that they’re tired, I have a hard time feeling sympathy for them. (But that’s me being judgemental, and I’m working on that)
One thing that Mr and I have been working on this year, is spending less time in front of the TV. We have one night a week where we dont turn on the TV. Because it’s a distraction. Keeping us from getting projects done, and preventing us from connecting with each other. There are too many times where we’re just sitting in front of the TV. Watching nothing. It’s just on, playing a TV show we’ve already seen all of.
I personally have taken a step back from social media, especially Facebook. What used to be fun, just stresses me out now. Everyone’s an expert on everything (you’re not btw. So stop posting those memes as facts). I’ve felt better about myself, and had less anxiety in my hiatus.
I’m going to just let myself be tired for a day or two. The weekend is near, and I have a lot to do, but I can get it done. And I can also make time for myself, and stick to it.Whether it’s going out for breakfast, painting something weird, or playing fetch with the pack. Maybe I’ll make a pie. I shouldn’t ever feel bad about making time for me. You shouldn’t either.
Peace, Love, & Spring Break Dreams,